i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
