Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
