dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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