My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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