hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
