By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
