how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
