You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
