My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
