did you get engaged???
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
