ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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