Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
dude. I can hear the air.
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