This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
