Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
