I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
