I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
