haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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