He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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