SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
