he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
