Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
