wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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