i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
