i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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