We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
