There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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