How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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