The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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