Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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