Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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