the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
