Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN