They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.