Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not