I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING