We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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