The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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