Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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