he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
