Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
