She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
