I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize