last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
