so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
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The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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