I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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