Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
