The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
