Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Of course I have a pirate flag
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
