haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
