I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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