ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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