I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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