Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
