We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
