and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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