May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
