Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
