Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
