Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
