I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My vagina is officially offended.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
