your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
