I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
