i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
