So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize