think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My liver just had a heart attack.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
