i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
