Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
